A Pain in the Neck
by Loyal Integra Fanboy
Summary: Seras fighting Anderson? And what's this? A showdown that goes a little awry? What will Maxwell think of all this? New chapter up Oct 20 2005. Some naughty language. All new slant on postanime events. EDIT Jan 15th 2013: It's nice than my fics are still getting attention after all this time. However, this story has run its course. Out of ideas!
1. A Pain in the Neck

_Author's note: Please be aware that this whole story line actually takes place after the anime, in a completely different direction to the manga.The events may hint slightly to the FREAK chip infestation, for reasons of continuity, but this is my interpretation on how events unfold post Order 13 in the anime._

Chapter One:A Pain in the Neck

'I have a fix on the target, closing in.' said Seras, pressing her earpiece. She clutched a pistol in her other hand, and hurried up the dark alley. In the distance ahead, she heard the sound of toppling trashcans and hurried footsteps. She saw the figure that she pursued much clearer than a human could.

'Make the kill, Officer Seras, clean-up will finish the rest.' Said the voice in her earpiece.

She squeezed off a round at the fleeing figure, but narrowly missed. The freak leapt up onto a fire escape and climbed up.

'In pursuit of the target up the west wall of the building, heading to the roof,' she reported back, before leaping up with the ease that only a vampire can, following the freak up the ladders. She fired off another mercury-charge bullet, but the freak disappeared on to the roof unscathed.

Before she reached the roof, she suddenly stopped and clutched her neck. She felt a burning sensation in the scar, still there after all this time, by someone she feared to meet again. Regaining her resolve, she hurried onto the roof.

The freak stood there, facing her. She stopped and pointed the pistol at it – it was a man, perhaps no older than she had been when she was a human. Not that her age mattered any more, of course. Her finger tightened on the trigger. At this range, she thought, I have no chance of missing.

The freak suddenly shuddered violently as a hundred blades skewered its body. It fell and exploded in a cloud of dust.

Seras gasped. The burning in her neck suddenly became stronger, for as the dust cleared away; she saw the tall, grinning figure standing before her. It was the figure of the man she had never wanted to encounter again. She froze, terrified.

'Well, if it isn't wee Draculina!' said Father Alexander Anderson mockingly. 'Long time no see, Eh?'

Seras could not speak or act. She knew that not a single bullet from her gun could possibly harm the deranged priest, nor could she persuade him from carving her up like a Thanksgiving bird. She could try to run away, but she was sure he would be much faster, and put a few blades through her before she was even two feet away.

'It has been such a long time, has it not, lassie?' Anderson grinned. 'But obviously not long enough for you, I see. Frightened? Good, so ye should be.'

Seras remained rooted to the spot, and Anderson seemed to be enjoying his little speech. Suddenly a voice entered her mind. A voice was familiar, and comforted her greatly.

_Police Girl, you are much stronger now than the day you and the Paladin last met. Search yourself, you know the truth. You can face him. You can fight him._

Alucard's voice resounded within her head.

'I've waited such a long time for this day - the day I finally smite ye back to Hell…' Anderson continued.

_Police Girl; listen to your Master! You are a creature of the night, far more than any human, and certainly more than any freak. You are strong, Police Girl. Stand up to him at last!_

Her master was insistent. The voice in her head was excited, enthused.

Suddenly Seras was aware of a great strength running through her body. She was a true undead, a nosferatu sired by the most feared and powerful of all the undead. The blood of Alucard coursed through her body, and she knew it was true. She _was_ stronger. She _was_ more powerful. She had nothing to fear from this priest. Suddenly her fangs felt sharper in her mouth, and her blood ran hotter inside her.

_Yes, Police Girl. Now you're feeling it! Now fight the Paladin!_

Alucard's voice was now manic, thoroughly unhinged. She too felt a surge within her, of pure power that she felt so long ago – when she'd 'vamped out', as she called it - that night she single-handedly laid waste to a pack of ghouls that had invaded the Hellsing lair.

It was a feeling she very much enjoyed.

'Yes, my Master…' she hissed gleefully. Her eyes glowed wildly.

'Officer Seras, what it your status?' said the voice from her earpiece. She tore it off and threw it to one side.

'Go ahead, Father – strike me down… if you can.'

Anderson's grin grew wider and his eyes glowed maniacally. 'Well, well, Draculina has grown a spine, has she? This should be interesting!'

The Paladin let loose a hail of blades in rapid succession. To his surprise, Seras moved with unbelievable speed, dodged each one, and leapt high in to the air, over the priest's head, landing behind him. The young vampire was surprised in herself to discover that she had moved so fast, so precisely – so fearlessly. She fired the pistol at his torso, ripping a hole straight through him. He turned and faced her, his wound closing up as he moved. He fixed her with a fearful stare.

'Seems Hellsing's new pet learned some new tricks…'

He launched another blade at Seras, but she deftly returned it with a well-placed high kick, sending it back at him, piercing his neck. He clutched at it, dropping to his knees. Gasping for breath, he looked down at the blood pouring out onto his robes.

'Regenerator or not – you still can't breath with a knife in your neck!' Seras spat mockingly. 'This makes us _even_.'

She reached over her shoulder and pulled out a sword, kept in a sheath on her back. The blade shimmered in the moonlight.

'This blade was made from all the knives you used on my master, the vampire Alucard,' she said proudly. 'I have been waiting for this day – the day I got to use it on you.'

Anderson gurgled incoherently, then managed to splutter the words, '…How can this be…?'

'This one's for Gareth!' Seras yelled, slicing off the Paladin's left arm. He let out a shriek as he watched his limb splatter to the concrete. His right arm moved to throw another blade, but Seras' sword severed it in a movement so quick it was almost invisible. Seras kicked the helpless priest onto his back, and placed a heel on the knife in his neck.

'Only human…' she growled. Anderson retched from the blood in his throat, and for the first time, Seras saw a look of mortal fear in his eyes.

'Do it then…' Anderson spluttered, 'Kill me… ye child of Satan…!'

Seras straddled the priest and pulled the knife sharply out of his throat. She looked menacingly into his eyes.

'I will not kill you. I am sworn to protect all humans… even those like you.' Seras said. 'Instead, run back to your precious section XIII and tell them all who you lost your limbs to.' She stood up, sheathed her sword, and flicked her hair back.

'But if you _do_ come back – I _will_ kill you.'

With that, Seras sprinted across the roof and dove into the darkness below.


	2. Facing the music

_Author's note: Please be aware that this whole story line actually takes place after the anime, in a completely different direction to the manga.The events may hint slightly to the FREAK chip infestation, for reasons of continuity, but this is my interpretation on how events unfold post Order 13 in the anime._

_The second chapter is a little look into how Anderson reacted to the shock of being whupped by Seras, and just what Enrico thinks about it too. This intended to be quite humorous._

**Chapter Two: Facing the Music**

Alexander Anderson fumed, and crushed his fists until the knuckles went white. _How could this be?_ He thought to himself, angry and confused, as if he had just looked at his bank balance, expecting to have at least a hundred pounds there, but actually being three hundred over drawn. His face was set in a permanent scowl, and his jaw firmly set in place, grinding his teeth for the rest of the journey back to The Vatican on the Eurostar. How long had it been? Five years? Maybe six? There was no way that she could have become as strong as that in such a time, vampire or not. Her speed was surprising, her accuracy more so, and the skill with the blade – for a vampire to handle a sliver sword and not fall foul of an accidental self-slicing – well, that needed a lot of discipline. And training. Quietly the Paladin cursed himself. He was pretty pissed off that he'd needed to regenerate his arms once again. With a hint of nostalgia, he remembered that the last time he lost those limbs was as result of Alucard.

_Smug bloody vampire. Thinking he's such the all-powerful monster, and now he's trained his wee Draculina pet to do his bidding._

How painfully ironic that he should feel the sting of his own bayonet in his neck, just like that little she-vampire did all that time before.

_So_, he thought, _she never did forget about that_.

He swallowed, still tasting the blood in the back of his throat, blood which he gargled on while he lay there, under the manic figure of Seras, who taunted him and had dismembered him. Yet, she spared him. He had to chuckle a little at the thought of that. At that moment, there on the rooftop, he had been caught so off-guard as to lose to the little girl, and for a short time, she could have torn him to shreds, or drained him, turned him into a ghoul – he was sure his regenerative technology couldn't even save him from that – but she didn't. _Why? _He thought to himself, and repeated the question over in his head until it came out as a loud, spoken word which made all the passengers in the carriage look at the blonde haired, dishevelled priest like he was mad. Which was perhaps not entirely untrue. A quick leer in all directions was enough to make them all turn around and feign great interest in the back of the seat in front.

_One thing is for certain, this will not happen again. She may have exploited my complacency, but it will be much different when next we meet.

* * *

_

'Father Anderson,' said Enrico Maxwell with a smirk, 'you will never guess who just called.'

'Ahh, shove it up yer bloody tailpipe!' snapped the priest, who had just burst angrily in the room seconds before. He folded his arms and stood sulkily in the corner.

'Sir Integra Hellsing…' continued Maxwell, shrugging off the priest's outburst.

'What 'bout the wench?' shouted Anderson, throwing his jacket at a chair.

'She called, Father. With some rather… embarrassing news, too.'

Anderson rolled his eyes, slammed both his hands on the desk, and looked Enrico square in the face.

'It was that bloody police girl! Ah thought Ah'd do us all a favour and take her doon. Turns oot that in the wee while since last ah met her, she's groon a fair bit stronger…'

'She kicked your ass, didn't she?' smiled Enrico, knowing it would rile the priest.

'What? No! I just got too cocky is all; she was but a wee girlie before. How was Ah to know she'd have gotten te be as fast and skilled as that?'

'So you showed your weakness and got your ass kicked. You should have known better.'

'Ah dinnae want te talk aboot it. Ah mean, de yeh know how long it takes te regenerate me bloody arms? Ahh, it makes me so bloody mad…'

'She cut off your arms?' Maxwell's eyed widened in amusement.

'Whit… yeh mean yeh didnae know that?'

Maxwell chuckled, 'No, all that Sir Hellsing said was her little Seras Victoria sent you home with your tail between your legs – she didn't go into much detail.'

Enrico laughed mockingly, and poked listlessly at the executive desk toy, one of those pin-art thing that everyone thinks is so novel.

'You're a fool, Paladin.' He said bluntly. 'You had no business being in England as it was. I am as eager as you are to rid us all of the disgrace that is the Hellsing Organisation, and those heathen creatures that work for them.' He swept the toy off the desk angrily and stood up sharply, knocking his chair over, 'But that doesn't give you the right to go off on your own and take these creatures on!'

Anderson flinched only a little. But the point was going across.

'Do you think that I want that bitch to go sending her pet vampire, that Alucard creature, to come and breathe down my neck again? Your actions could have caused a serious rift between both our organisations.' Maxwell sat back down and reclined in his chair. 'I have no use for a vigilante who seeks to jeopardise Section XIII, and can't even silence a stupid little girl. I told Integra Hellsing that I would deal with you personally for your wanton act of interference.'

_Oh, bollocks,_ thought Anderson. He may have been a regenerating, mean, heathen-battering son-of-a-bitch, but Maxwell was his boss, the Integra to his Alucard. Maxwell could really make his life a misery if he wanted to. He looked to one side, and relaxed his posture from the desk.

'But,' Maxwell grinned, 'I think, the humiliation of being beaten by a girl is punishment enough, wouldn't you say?' Another mocking laugh.

'Yes, Senor Maxwell,' said Anderson bitterly. He knew that most of Section XIII must have heard of this by now, and they were probably all having a good laugh. _Bastards._ He turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.

Maxwell rested his chin on his hand and sighed. He tired of this conflict. _Damned Protestant cow_. He looked sadly at the desk toy, and quickly gathered it back up off the floor. He placed it carefully on the desk and was relieved to find it was not broken. He listened carefully to be sure no one was about to come in, then he pushed his face in to the pins, making a crude impression of his features. He new this was foolish but it was a guilty pleasure when no one was around. The door suddenly burst open again, and he scrambled to hide the toy and pretend to leaf through a dossier. Anderson, still fuming, stormed across the office, grabbed his jacket off the chair, and, without a word, stormed out and slammed the door behind him. Maxwell threw the dossier on the desk and sighed in relief. The door opened again. Anderson peered in.

'By the way,' he began, 'Ah won't tell anyone you were playing with your toys again.'

The door closed on a red-faced Enrico Maxwell.


	3. The Last Days of the Kitten

_Author's note: Please be aware that this whole story line actually takes place after the anime, in a completely different direction to the manga.The events may hint slightly to the FREAK chip infestation, for reasons of continuity, but this is my interpretation on how events unfold post Order 13 in the anime._

_Okay so now we see why and how Seras became the way she was in Chapter One. Back track a few years (still post anime) to the beginning of her training. Sorry for the Star Wars reference: couldn't help it. I hope it fits well. Abit of humour, some gratuitous blatant Seras fanservice and a helping of angst for this the third chapter. R&R and please suggest where you would like to see this go for Chapter Four._

**_Chapter Three: The Last Days of the Kitten_**

FIVE YEARS EARLIER

Seras bit firmly on her lip as the pain raced up her arm, hitting her tear ducts and tempting them to water. (Or bleed, in the way a vampire's eyes do.) She breathed in sharply between her teeth as she looked at the horrific burn on her right hand.

'Bloody Hell,' she muttered.

'Careful, Miss Victoria,' Walter said, wincing a little, lowering his sword. 'If you are going to use a blessed sword then you must remember to avoid touching the blade.'

Seras dropped her sword to the floor. 'I think I'll give it a rest for a bit.' She did well with the practise sword, which was harmless to her. However, every time she tried to fight with the real one, she faltered, a dangerous thing to keep doing.

The sword was a magnificent weapon. Walter had been industrious enough to craft it in secret, from the bayonets that Father Anderson had been kind enough to leave behind – even if they were lodged in Seras, Alucard and various members of the Hellsing Organisation. It had a three-foot long blade, which curved only a little, and was thin and razor sharp. Typically, Walter had engraved 'We are On a Mission from God' in a gothic design on the blade. The hilt, of course, had been crafted from oak, for the sake of the vampire for whom it was made. This way Seras could at least brandish the blade without fear of becoming a victim to it herself. If only, Walter thought to himself, she could wield it without cutting herself all the bloody time.

'Quite right, Miss Victoria. Tomorrow we will work on slightly more advanced attacks – but let's take this slowly.'

'Yes, Walter.' She sighed in quiet relief that the hour-long lesson was over. 'I'll hit the shower now I think.'

'Very good, Miss Victoria.' Walter said, watching her walk to the door of the gymnasium. A devious grin played across his lips. Swiftly he reached into his back pocket, launched a throwing knife at Seras, and was impressed to see the young vampette turn and kick the weapon away. His satisfaction was interrupted for only a moment when he realised she had sent it directly back in his direction. He caught it between his palms, just centimeters from his elderly face.

'Your reflexes are coming along very nicely,' said the butler, smirking at the smug Seras Victoria. 'We are at least making _some_ progress.'

'See you in a bit, Walter,' said the pretty vampire, and walked out the door. At that moment the old butler couldn't help noticing how very cute her butt was. The thought was shaken out of his mind by the voice behind him.

_How is our young padawan getting on, Angel of Death?_ It was Alucard, and he had been watching Star Wars again. Not that a vampire such as Alucard would have a DVD collection – he'd pinched it from Walter one particularly quiet day. (He gets very bored, very easily.) Walter chuckled a little at Alucard's choice of words.

'She's learning well enough,' he said fondly, 'but if she has any hope of being any good with that sword, well, she will have to try much harder.'

_She will try, Walter. Our young police girl is stronger than she thinks she is. However, she will have to unlock all her potential before she has any hope of matching the Paladin in battle._

'True enough, Alucard, but in the meantime she has proven to be a most valuable asset to the Organisation.'

Alucard grinned, remembering an incident Waterloo station, where she left the soldiers slack-jawed in amazement, having single-handedly kicked the asses of five freaks in one go. It was fair to say that she had 'vamped out' on that occasion, as it had been fondly described. But these acts of wanton violence still disturbed her, and she would snap out of it quickly. On more than a few occasions she had been so shocked at what she had just done that she would leave the crime scene and try to convince herself she was not turning into a monster.

_Those freaks are mere playthings to any real vampire. She will never become a fearful warrior if she cannot embrace the ways of the true Nosferatu._

'Ah,' said Walter, 'you mean drinking the blood.'

_My blood._

'Yes. Well, maybe she'll turn to the Dark Side soon, Alucard.' Walter said flippantly. 'Until then, you'll have to be a patient Jedi and wait for her to come to you.'

* * *

_Police Girl, I want to talk with you._

The vampire's head appeared through the wall of Seras' bedroom without warning, and only his voice gave his presence away. Seras gasped in surprise, whipped the sheet off the bed, and quickly covered her nakedness.

'You know, it's much more polite to knock, Master.' She said, indignant, and more than a little embarrassed. Alucard ignored the outburst or the fact he had entered the private confines of a woman's bedroom without invitation. He glided into the room and solidified in front of her.

'I was just about to go to bed, Master, what do you want to talk about?'

Alucard didn't seem to be listening to her. Instead she caught him staring at, perhaps through, the thin white bed sheet, under which she began to feel very exposed indeed.

'Stop that!' She snapped, hurling a candlestick at his head. 'Perhaps I should dress first?'

_Hm. I suppose, if you wish, Police Girl. The choice is yours._

'Yes it bloody well is. Could you turn around please?'

After a stubborn pause Alucard rolled his eyes and made an about turn. He chuckled maliciously to himself when he heard he trip over a chair in her hurried bid to grab clothes.

'Okay, you may turn around now.' Seras announced a few moments later. Alucard turned to face the red-faced vampire in – pink pyjamas? He raised an eyebrow in amusement.

'It's the first thing I could grab,' she said, shrugging it off. 'So what did you want to say, Master?'

_That's precisely it, Police Girl. Being your master. Why do you wish to remain submissive to me?_

'I… Master, please, you know I can't answer that question.'

_You made the choice of your own free will, remember? It was a choice for you alone to make. You are so very strong willed, Police Girl. You were so brave that night. To sacrifice your life, and join me, that takes courage._

'I wasn't brave, Master. I was selfish.'

_Is it selfish not to want to die? No Police Girl, you made the ultimate sacrifice in order to uphold what you believed to be right. Without yourcourage to face the unknown that priest would have got away.You are far braver than you think. You have in you what it takes to become a true undead._

'That's just it, Master! I feel like I'm becoming so inhuman! I fearthat the person I used to be will just wither and die. I don't want to forget who I was, as you have.'

Alucard felt a pang of resent for that remark. It was a nerve only Integra had struck before.

_You want to defeat the Paladin? You'll _never _get close until you drink my blood. You will always be weak._

'I can't do it, Master! Ask me to do anything else. I'll do it. I'll train to fight, I'll learn to be as agile and strong as possible – but ask me to drink your blood – I can't.' Seras turned away from Alucard.

_Why? _Alucard was impatient, his voice raised.

'I just can't!' She yelled, clenching her fists. 'I just can't…' she repeated, quietly.

Alucard fumed. _Fine, Police Girl, have it your way. I'm through reasoning with you! _

He stormed over to the table, and grabbed to bag of blood that had been waiting for her. He turned on Seras and thrust it into her chest. She grabbed it involuntarily, flinching at her master's anger.

_Drink up, or you will become as weak as a kitten! _

With a dramatic turn on his heel, he stormed out of the door, only going through it normally so he could slam it behind him. Seras flinched again at the bang of the wooden door. She looked at the blood bag in her hands. Remembering her master's last words, she angrily squeezed the bag tightly between her slender fingers. It burst, splattering her pyjamas.

'DAMN YOU!' She screamed.


	4. Kiss Off

_Author's note: Please be aware that this whole story line actually takes place after the anime, in a completely different direction to the manga.The events may hint slightly to the FREAK chip infestation, for reasons of continuity, but this is my interpretation on how events unfold post Order 13 in the anime._

_Little bit of fun with an AaxS idea suggested by a reviewer. Lending itself more than a little bit to the BuffyxSpike of Season Six. Also explains a little more why Anderson can't seem to fight the 'new' Seras. Could be a load of crap, could be on to something here. You decide. R&R please! (Still being tweaked but I'll publish it now anyway)_

**Chapter Four: Kiss Off**

Alexander Anderson had not heeded Seras' words; his pride and his near fanatical duty to rid the world of foul creatures of the night had prevented him from doing so. Against the orders of Maxwell, he stubbornly returned to England with one singular purpose on his mind: to send that bitch to Hell. Then, if he felt like more fun, he would take care of that Alucard, too. Yes, that would most certainly be the end for Hellsing, to eliminate her vile servants. Moreover, he would make an entrance to beat them all, too. Oh, yes, he would do this in style. He nimbly leapt over the walls of the Hellsing manor; casually tossing a bayonet into the skull of the soldier who attempted to challenge him. With a maniacal grin, he burst in to the door of the manor, splintering wood peppering the hallway.

'Draculina!' he yelled. 'Come oot, wee lassie, and face me for the last time!'

'Whose last time would that be, Father?' came a cute feminine voice at the top of the huge staircase. Seras looked down at him mockingly. 'Yours, I presume?'

'Aaaaaagh!' Anderson charged up the stairs toward her, brandishing bayonets. 'Vile whore of Satan!' He cried. Before he could reach her an all too familiar gun barrel looked him right in the eye.

_Dare you come into this place, Paladin? The nerve you have astounds me!_

'Mah fight's no' wi' yeh, vampire! Ah seek the girl.'

_My Jackal has much need to quarrel with you, Paladin!_

'Alucard!' Seras shouted. 'Let him be. This is between him and me.'

'Listen te her, Alucard. Ah'll get roun' te yeh soon enough.'

A charming smile played across Alucard's lips. He lowered his Jackal.

'Step aside, Alucard.' Seras insisted. 'Step aside.'

_Fine. _The elder vampire did as he was asked, and let Anderson pass.

'What the fuck is he doing here?' Integra demanded angrily, running into the hallway with Walter in tow. 'You have crossed the line, Anderson. The Vatican will hear of this.'

'And so they shall, Miss Hellsing.' The barmy priest raised his bayonets above his head and a thousand holy seals flew from somewhere within him, followed by a thousand bayonets, stapling each one to the walls around the manor. 'Ah shan't be beaten again, yeh mark mah words!' Again, he ran up the stair toward Seras. Instead of plunging his bayonets into soft, female flesh, he passed through thin air and collided with a priceless painting; as Seras leapt into the air and neatly pirouetted to land gracefully behind him.

'My Monet!' yelled Integra.

She unsheathed her sword and lunged for the Paladin. He quickly turned and deflected the attack with a bayonet, but Seras kept her distance by leaping backwards.

'Nimble wee lassie, Ah see!' spat Anderson, 'Pah!'

He let fly a barrage of bayonets. Seras returned some with her sword, somersaulted over others, and caught one in her hand.

'Shit!' she hissed as it burned her skin. She dropped it quickly, and turned to see a final bayonet fly for her. She was not fast enough to dodge it.

'Shit!' she spat again as it impaled her left shoulder.

_POLICE GIRL!_ Shouted Alucard from the bottom of the stair, cocking his Jackal.

'No, Alucard!' she yelled back, hastily pulling out the bayonet and flinging it to the floor. The Paladin was advancing on her like a wolf stalking its prey. She held out the sword defensively, and looked right at Anderson.

'Like your arms, father – are they new?' she quipped. Anderson, enraged, ran toward her, striking downward with his blades. She stopped them with the sword and kicked him in the stomach. She whirled behind him and attempted to drive her sword into him. He swept her legs out from underneath her with a kick and bore down on her. She blocked again, and the two were locked in a struggle, each pushing against the other.

'What is the meaning of this?' Integra demanded, her eyes darting between Walter and Alucard. 'Why has that man burst into my house?'

'Erm…' Walter mumbled.

_This battle is the police girl's. _Alucard chimed in. _We must not interfere. If she is to prove herself, she must fight the Paladin alone._

Integra looked up at the struggling pair, grunting and straining to weaken the other's resistance. She sighed.

'I suppose this has something to do with –'

'Yes, Sir Integra.' Said Walter. 'It does. Obviously being beaten by a girl has hurt the Paladin's pride.'

Integra shot the butler a dirty look.

'I mean, in his view, um…' he vowed never to make a sexist remark to Integra again. 'Well if you don't need me, I'll be…'

'Stay here.' Integra ordered.

Anderson's eyes were filled with anger, and Seras could see it. She stared right into those eyes, burning with fire and the uncontrollable desire to win. She could not bear to let herself be stricken down by this man. She summoned up the memory of poor Gareth. It was enough. With new anger-fuelled strength she kicked Anderson off, and pinned the stunned priest to the wall with the sword.

'Ah, bugger it,' the priest murmured. Seras leaned in close to the priest. Anderson tried to slip off the sword but she slammed him hard into the wall. Her expression was grim.

Anderson was staggered by the fire and passion in this little girl's unbeating heart. She truly was a woman of great strength, fuelled by revenge and rage. He could not grasp just why he was unable to defeat her, why he seemed to let her dominate him like that. He had torn vampires to shreds with much ease before – Hell; he'd even pasted Alucard on occasion. Why was he so weak and stupid around her? It was frustrating. Seras leaned in closer, almost nose to nose with him, and he knew she was about to taunt him further. Suddenly he felt drawn to her. She slammed him into the wall like a rag doll, and though he knew he could knock her head off in a second, he couldn't do it. There was a feeling inside him which he had not felt for a very long time, which grew in him, and stopped him from wanting to fight her.

She turned him on.

Oh, God, no, please don't let it be, he thought to himself.

God might well have been looking the other way. He leaned his head forward and pressed his lips against hers. They were soft, sweet, and the feeling made him press his mouth harder to hers. Seras closed her eyes.

'Tell me this is not happening.' Said Integra, wide eyed.

'Okay, Sir Integra – this is not happening.' Said Walter, similarly astounded.

_You humans are disgusting… _Said Alucard, unimpressed.

Anderson put his hands on Seras' shoulders and embraced her. It was more of a thrill for him when the young vampire kissed him back. Their tongues caressed, and her hands held the Paladin's head gently in the macabre scene.

Seras' eyes snapped open, as did Anderson's, and she shrank back, horrified. Anderson would have done the same if he wasn't pinned to the wall.

'What the bloody hell was that about?' They said in unison.

K-Click. 

The Jackal appeared by Anderson's head, attached to the long arm of Alucard, who looked at Seras, then the priest, in disgust.

_You are supposed to be a man of the cloth, Judas Priest. You ought to be ashamed of yourself!_ _Police Girl, this is over. The Paladin will leave now._ He pressed the Jackal into Anderson's temple. _Won't you?_

Anderson humbly pulled the sword out, and stood up. 'Aye, vampire. Ah think mah stay here was a little over long.'

Under the watchful eye of Alucard's Jackal, Anderson timidly skulked down the stairs. 'And a good evening te yeh, Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing.'

'I'll be sending the bill for the door to the Vatican.' She retorted coolly.

They all watched him leave, shaking his head in disbelief. They all shook their heads in disbelief also.

'Right, then,' said Seras, starting to scurry off.

'Seras Victoria,' boomed Integra, 'I want a word with you.'

* * *

So what did you make of it? There may be more (and better, probably) stuff coming soon. All suggestions for Chapter Five are truly welcome. 


	5. Suspended

_Author's note: Please be aware that this whole story line actually takes place after the anime, in a completely different direction to the manga.The events may hint slightly to the FREAK chip infestation, for reasons of continuity, but this is my interpretation on how events unfold post Order 13 in the anime._

CHAPTER FIVE: SUSPENDED

Enrico stifled a giggle as the Paladin entered to office, but the expression of mirth was difficult to conceal. Anderson spotted it, and his face went red.

"How's celibacy working out for you, Father?" Maxwell gloated.

"Aah, get over it, ya piss-artist!" snapped the priest. Maxwell let the offensive remark slide. He was in enough trouble as it was.

"Come now, Alexander, you have to admit it's pretty funny."

"What's so bloody funny about it?" Anderson said menacingly.

"Oh, and what are you going to do, kiss me to death?" Maxwell quipped, then burst into uncontrollable laughter. Anderson looked glibly to the floor. Suddenly Enrico stopped laughing and his face was deadly serious.

"You god-dammed lunatic! You idiot!" Enrico yelled, slamming the desk, "What the Hell were you thinking? The Vatican is sorely embarrassed by this whole affair!"

"Ah wish ah knew… ah mean…"

"Do you realise that right now, the Hellsing Organisation is laughing at us? Not to mention the British government? The Round Table? The fucking Queen of England's even in on the joke!"

Anderson couldn't speak. Too angry say sorry, though it was useless to say so anyway.

"His Holiness, the Pope himself, is furious!" Maxwell continued, "The very idea that an agent of Section XIII, a tool of God's punishment on all evil creatures - let alone a priest – could actually do such a thing with the very creature he was supposed to destroy – is a travesty, and a hideous blot on our sacred history!"

"Ah didnae know what ah was doin', Sir. I dinnae know what came over me."

"Well it scarcely matters now." Maxwell snapped.

"Ah give ye mah word, as a man o' God, that it'll never happen again."

"Too right it won't."

"Yes Sir."

"Because you're suspended, you buffoon."

"Wha'?"

"Effective immediately, your only duty as a priest, is that of carer at the orphanage."

"But…but…" Anderson spluttered.

"You should be thankful for that, Paladin. His Holiness was insistent on having you disavowed from the Church altogether."

"He did?"

"Yes. But you know what? I put in a good word for you. Several, in fact. I fought tooth and nail to keep you in."

"Thank you…"

"I don't like to have to do this. You're more than just an agent to me. You're one of my most loyal men. Give it some time, you're likely to be re assigned to Section XIII."

"Ah understand,"

"I really can't be doing with this right now, Anderson. What with the bug infestation at present, our resources are sorely stretched right now. I can't be down an agent. Especially not you."

The priest took a gulp of pride, and said humbly, "Mah apologies, Senor Maxwell."

Maxwell gave the priest a reassuring look. "Listen. Perhaps, in the time you have been given, you can come to terms with your abhorrent fixation, and return to service refreshed and anew."

"Yes, Sir."

"Dismissed, Father."

The Paladin turned and skulked dejectedly out of the office. Only to come face to face with Heinkel and Yumiko. The German was smirking toothlessly.

"What?" said Anderson, angrily.

"Vat's the matter, Anderson?" said Heinkel, "How's about a kiss, you big stud!" she opened her mouth to reveal false vampire-teeth.

"Bugger off the pair o' ye!" Anderson boomed, and stormed out, leaving Heinkel and Yumiko in fits of laughter.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


End file.
